Note from the Editor:
Dear Readers, Lucinda McRuvy departed suddenly last week, so we do not have a new Sophisticated City column for you this week. We apologize for the disappointment, but no doubt Lucinda recommends you skip to the spa, have a massage, and return next week.
What a weekend. If this is what happens when someone gets kidnapped, I would like to be permanently abducted. After a long, luxurious private plane trip where my elegant captor remained silent, except to introduce herself as Madame Rouge, but treated me to everything: a facial massage, Amazonian Rainforest algae body wrap, hot stone massage, and plenty of champagne. Of course I was slightly wary of becoming too tipsy, should I need to evade my captor, but concluded that I would never want to run from anyone who treated me so well. Finally, we arrived at our destination.
I was locked in a limousine with blacked-out windows so I could not see where we were driving. Rather than worry about the road, I sank back into the smooth, buttery leather seats and lost myself in the light therapy roof. Though I was kidnapped by the Fashion Mafia and did not know what to expect of my captors, I was absolutely at ease when the car stopped and Madame Rouge opened my door.
Stepping out, I almost turned back into the limousine; I expected an elegant palace, but saw a dilapidated farmhouse littered with car skeletons in the front yard.
“Where are we?” I asked Madame Rouge.
“Lucinda,” she responded, “we are at the future home of world fashion domination, Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan.”
“What is that dreadful smell?”
“We are on a chinchilla farm. Not only does the Fashion Mafia control all the world’s fur production to magnificent success and profit, but chinchilla farms are perfect covers for our operations. Please follow me inside.”
She waved her diamond-encrusted gun, leaving me no choice but to enter the ramshackle excuse for a building. Only taking two steps in, Madame Rouge turned to the coat closet, and performed a series of knocks, which opened the door to reveal a high-tech elevator.
We descended for a few minutes and the doors opened to reveal the design mecca I imagined for the Fashion Mafia. Before I could ask about the decor, Madame Rouge answered my question.
“Yes, this is all the original furniture from Versailles. You did not think we would have allowed the revolutionaries to take it, did you? Our operatives were just as efficient back then as they are today. Now we have a Versailles below Moose Jaw that is equipped with modern technologies, ensuring Versailles will never fall again. Now, Lucinda, we will get you to your room and I will introduce you to Fashion Mafia operations. If you like what you see, you will meet The Godmothers.”
I already liked what I saw, so I spent the weekend learning the facts and the myths behind the Fashion Mafia. Tomorrow I may meet the fabled Godmothers.
I love this time of year! All the sparkles and lights and festive drinks and dancing to corny old songs. My favouritest part of the season is coming up with great outfits to wear to all of the parties. I love seeing what other people come up with too!
It is lonely on the private jet, and the flight is much longer than I expected - where could they possibly be taking me? Wherever we are going, it is snowing and stormy, and to distract myself from worrying about the turbulence and the uncertain end to this strange journey, I mentally go over all of the holiday parties I hope to go to and what I will wear to each one. I can never have too many holiday outfits! I wish someone else was here to help me come up with ideas.
A knock at my door. An elegant woman. The flash of a diamond-encrusted revolver. A silent limousine ride to the airport and into a luxurious private jet. I do not know where I am headed, but I am traveling in elite style that is beyond my usual sophistication. I must be on my way to meet the Fashion Mafia. I do hope my Denis Gagnon dress is appropriate attire in which to wear at one’s own kidnapping.
Tonight was the super-special, ultra-VIP screening of 15 MINUTES (’til last call) at CiRCA. In honour of Andy Warhol and his 15 minutes of fame prediction, I made my very own homage to his Campbell’s soup can, but with my own “Pärty MÖnster” beer in homage to this new show. I also borrowed a killer hat from Jorge Midence. I was a hit, almost stealing the limelight from the stars, but not quite. How could anyone steal the spotlight from Cory Stewart and Matt Sims?
Even though it was the show pilot, I LOVED it! It’s got to get picked up because I NEED to see more of the hyped-up rivalry between supercute club promoters Cory and Matt. They’re pop culture geniuses, fun, adorable, and I love, love, love them!
They’re lovingly sending up the Toronto club scene, which is infinitely more interesting than L.A., if The Hills is any indication of what’s happening in L.A. Bor-ing! These guys are way more fun and the show completely blows The Hills out of the water.
I asked Cory how he felt since 15 Minutes was over, and he said,
“A little aroused, but other than that, just very happy that the response has been so good. I was really worried that people were going to be like, ‘Matt Sims rocks and Cory is an evil villain!’ But it actually turned out well and I’m really happy with what people have thought.”
Me too! And Cory’s so sweet that I can’t even believe they’re making him into a villain, but a good clubland rivalry will make the best TV.
We got talking about Toronto fashion and we both agree that when you go out clubbing, it’s best to go all out and make a costume. He didn’t seem to know too many Toronto designers, so I could totally make him a rad costume. If he ever does a cybergoth night, he would rock PlastikWrap and Futurstate. He seems to like getting dressed up, so he would look fantastic in Bustle, and he’s got to get himself a custom shirt from Green Shag.
These boys must get hooked up with some Canadian fashion. We should throw a fashion party together. I bet the costumes would be even better than Fashion Cares.
It was bound to be a busy evening, but my Fashion-Mafia car and driver made everything smooth and simple.
First, I drove up to Eglington and Avenue for the opening of trés chic new boutique, Magnolia, where I was introduced to jewellery designer Rita Tesolin, headwear designer Lori-Anne Krausewitz, and saw good friends fashion designer Lucian Matis, and photographer Arline Malakian.
Magnolia owner, Juan Carlos, introduced me to a superb Spanish label, Hoss, but his store excels with a curatorial eye for Canadian design from Matis, Arthur Mendonça, and Izzy Camilleri. As for the store itself, the wonderful Mr. Juan Carlos said it best:
“The ambience is very cosy; it just invites you to stay, not just to come, buy, and get out. Stay, take as much time as you want, admire the pieces. Fashion is just incredible. You can do so much with fashion. Step back, admire it. If you love it, get it, then come back!”
I will definitely be back to Magnolia since I could not stay long. Of course I had to run to the Royal Ontario Museum for The Material Ball, the annual gala fundraiser for the ROM’s Burnham Brett Endowment for Textiles and Costume and the Renaissance ROM Campaign and all-around sophisticated evening.
Naturally, I stopped by my condominium to change into my beautiful ball gown, a frothy, custom-made Giambattista Valli creation provided by mysterious mafia colleagues. What a treat it was to view the North American premiere of his Spring/Summer 2009 collection. ? The evening began with a reception and exhibition viewing for The Nature of Diamonds, which is quite easily my favourite exhibition of all time. Oh, how I adore diamonds!
Of course there was an absolutely elegant dinner, complete with fascinating converstation from my dining companions, the crème de la crème of Toronto’s social and artistic scene. The event was indeed black-tie glamorous. ? After I arrived home, still admiring my fabulous Fashion Mafia frock and falling more in love with it, I wondered what I did to deserve an invitation into such an elite organization. Then I pondered what I would have to do to gain admittance into it. They have convincing methods of persuasion. Without a doubt, I would do anything to be part of the Fashion Mafia.
I’ve never seen a Rei Kawakubo garment up close, so I had to check out her Comme des Garçons stuff for H&M. She may not be one of my all-time favourite designers since she’s so intellectual and stuff, but she is pretty groundbreaking.
I rolled out of bed around noon and went over to the Bloor Street H&M to discover that almost everything was gone. There were a few normal looking blouses and shirts, but nothing really interesting except for this crazy black dress with deconstructed bodice and scalloped hem. There were a million of them left; nobody wanted them for some reason, so I had to try one on.
It was so wacky that I had to have it since nobody else in Toronto wanted it.
When I went to go pay, I overheard a cashier telling another customer that in the morning, there was a “trampede”. A vision of Clubland girls in too-tight shirts, too-short skirts, and too-tall shoes fighting over avant-garde design went through my head and I totally laughed my head off! I always thought that Comme des Garçons attracted a more sophisticated crowd. Man, that shopgirl was funny! Trampede. Hee-hee!
Anyway, after the trip, I walked past Le Chateau and thought, “Hey, that’s one of Canada’s biggest retail successes. They always recruit new fashion grads, so why don’t they do an H&M-type collaboration with a cool Canadian fashion designer?” Town Shoes has already done it with Philip Sparks and David Dixon, so why doesn’t a Canadian clothing store do it too?
My fashion dreams have been answered. One of my favourite Montréal designers, Andy Thê-Anh, finally opened a Toronto store, a few mere steps away from my luxurious Minto condominium in Yorkville. Now whenever I have a cocktail party emergency, I know I can slip over to his store to satisfy my desires.
Last night Andy celebrated the opening with an elegant affair. I wore a stunning grey dress from the current collection which I picked up from the store earlier in the day. The event attracted all the top fashionistas, and delighful DJ Barbi. A pleasant surprise: a figure skating champion came to the fête. Yes, Canadian legend Kurt Browning was in attendance.
I just realized that Christmas sales are coming up and I haven’t registered for any of them. I need some holiday money and I know that my Dad is going to be harassing me about getting a job again.
I was about to sit down and figure out what sales I should make stuff for, my contractor called and told me he didn’t understand the pattern for my Monsoon Dress, so I had to take the 3-hour bus transfer marathon up north to explain the construction. Gawd! Then 3 hours back! What a pain! By the time I got home, nobody was answering phone calls. I really need to make some stuff to sell for the holidays.
