Over the past two days, I’ve seen five people wearing duck boots. Haven’t seen those since 1985. Or have I ignored their existence for those years? Either way, I’ve noticed now and am positive they’re going to haunt me.

Am I going to have to write a duck boot trend piece? I hate being responsible for ugly footwear trends. I’m still surprised someone hasn’t stabbed me for being the first fashion journalist to type the word “Crocs”.