I worry I am getting too old for some of these events. I didn’t even recognize the guy who opened last night’s Much Music Video Awards. Someone said something about Flouride?

How to stand tall among the slouching hipsters and avoid puddles on the red carpet? My dear friend Abel Munoz suggested that I aspire for a higher level of style, starting with a stunning pair of platform sandals of his own design, which are sold at Ron White Shoes. We added a long, strong look from Greta Constantine and I was able to enjoy surveying the crowd from an elevated level of taste.

When I saw Perez Hilton walk in from the rain, wishing that he stayed outside. He really is a blemish on the journalistic profession. I heard him say, “I only cover A to D Listers”, which means that I didn’t get stuck talking to him. Thank goodness I’m an F-Lister!

At least Perez didn’t have blue hair during this outing. Usually he makes atrocious fashion choices, but last night’s suit was surprisingly dapper and he passed the Trashiest Outfit award to Girlicious, who were wannabe popstar refugees from 1998.

All the VJs outshone the artists, but Sarah Taylor and Hannah Simone tied for Best Dressed VJ. Both embodied the spirit of sophisticated rock and roll.

Without a doubt, Rihanna had Best Hair, while Belly took home the dubious distinction of Worst Hair.

With all the t-shirts at the event, there were many fashion disasters, but Sum-whatever-they-are won my special award for Most Tolerable T-Shirts, with their mocking of New Kids on the Block. I was looking forward to seeing their first reunion performance, but frankly, it was embarassing. Even though their crisp, white outfits tried to illustrate some level of sophistication, the Scarborough shout-out was sophomoric.

The actual show was lackluster. Or is my age showing again? None of the musicians sang anything remotely catchy. Well, maybe Kardinal Offishall’s song, “Dangerous” was pretty catchy. Maybe it’s because he was the Best Dressed Guy. At the Revolver MMVA After Party, I caught up with Robin Black, who agreed with me about Mr. Offishall’s fab style. “Kardinal looked really good. That guy knows how to dress.”

Mr. Black himself was amazingly put together, especially since he just picked up a pair of swank sunglasses courtesy of Gafas Fine Eyewear Boutique, as did rockers Hedley, Alexisonfire, and Theory of a Deadman. None of them looked as rockSTAR as Robin Black, though, so I had to ask him if any other Canadian musicians are worthy of Canadian musician style icon status. He truthfully answered, “Sometimes I say things to be catty or to get a laugh, and sometimes I’m just joking when I say kind of cocky or rude things, but truthfully, there’s a lot of great things about Canadian music and Canadian musicians, but the way they dress just ain’t one of them.”

Worst Dressed Guy was definitely the lead singer of Hedley. He received negative reviews from Robin Black, who said, “Every now and then, I like the way my buddy Jacob from Hedley is put together, but you know, except tonight he looks like a fucking hobo.” Damzels in this Dress Designer, Rory Lindo, shared similar thoughts. When asked who was the evening’s Best Dressed, she said, “It wasn’t that fucking guy from Hedley! I’m sorry, but it was beachwear gone completely awry! I do not want to see my rockstars in a white v-neck with rolled-up jeans and a dayglo pink hipsack! That stylist needs to be fired and pronto!”

During the party, discussion of the Best Dressed Gal heated up when I met up with two actresses from my favourite guilty-pleasure show, MVP: The Secret Lives of Hockey Wives. Given my own hockey wife past, I know the show got it right and I couldn’t wait to chat with Amanda Brugel and Inga Cadranel. Amanda’s fashion fave for the evening was Whitney from The Hills: “I love her style; I love the fact that she’s a lady always.” Inga, admired another MTV pseudo-reality star and said, “I thought Kristen Cavalleri had a gorgeous dress on! And her belt was so rad.” Luckily, they didn’t get in a fashion fight, but I did get the scoop that there could be a catwalk catfight between their two characters on MVP next season. I hope it gets renewed. I’ll be crossing my fingers for its U.S. premiere after the Daytime Emmys on Friday June 20. I do hope Amanda will wear a frock from her favourite Canadian designer, Lucian Matis to the event. Both are also fans of Escada, so it’s a good thing Toronto has an Escada flagship store on Bloor Street.

I left the two Hockey Wives to their best dressed debate to speak with delightful designer, Nada Shepherd. I was thrilled to learn that my choice for Best Dressed Gal, Spice Girl Melanie C , wore NADA! Miss Chisholm shimmied and sparkled in the bronze and gold NADA dress like the star she is.

Lucinda’s MMVA List

• Best Dressed Gal: Melanie C
• Best Dressed Guy: Kardinal Offishall
• Most Tolerable T-Shirts: Sum-whatever-they-are
• Best Hair: Rihanna
• Worst Hair: Belly
• Trashiest Outfit: Girlicious
• Best Dressed VJs: Hannah Simone and Sarah Taylor