While I was in lip-bernation last week, Mimi M. went to Miami for the swimwear collections. Near the end of the week, my producer worried about her first assignment, so he sent me to check up on her and conduct supplemental interviews. I wasn’t enthusiastic about it because my lips hadn’t reduced and I normally do not cover swimwear. Spangled bikinis are not high fashion. Neither were my lips.

Nevertheless, I arrived to find Mimi M. fitting into her reporter role just fine. Too fine, in fact. I was the one who had problems finding interviews. Mimi M. had all the hot clubs covered and I got all the surgeried socialites. Is that what I am now? Part of the Plastic-Pack?