The lovely and always sophisticated Mary Symons invited me to tonight’s launch of the Jamieson Vitamins 360 Pure line of health products.

At first, I wondered why I would be invited to an event geared towards people of a certain age, as demonstrated by the issues of Zoomer magazine scattered on tables, between sardine samplers.

Then when elegant spokeswoman Dayle Haddon took to the podium, I knew why it was important for all generations to be educated about the importance of beauty from the inside out. I would add that sophistication comes from the inside out.

When I arrived home, I read David Livingstone’s Zoomer article musing over whether we have outgrown age-appropriate dressing. David is a fashion journalism genius and I accept his yellow hoodie (oops! I do mean to say “pullover” instead of “hoodie”; it is much more age-appropriate), no matter what age he is.  It suits him.

From David’s writing, I returned to The Commandments. The second one chilled my bones:

You Shall Not Tell Anyone About The Fashion Mafia, Not Even Your Best Gay Boyfriend.

The penalty for breaking that rule is BGB persecution, with methods including (but not limited to):

- Scandalous gossip stories in local society columns;
- Destruction of all credit cards and access to future credit lines;
- Banishment from all Paris, New York, Milan, and London shows;
- Blocked purchase of all garments except those made of polyester and rayon;
- Lifetime employment as a Gap Sales Associate.

What have I done? Did I just jeopardize Bernie’s fashion future?