Bernie asked me to attend his annual Haute Hallowe’en Ball, which, of course, I had to attend. People would have talked if I was not there. He asked about the Fashion Mafia and I did not want to put him in danger of fashion exile, so I had to lie. I have never lied to Bernie before, but it was for his own good.

I told him that Basher showed up at my home, admitted to giving the gifts, and wanted me back. I don’t know if Bernie bought it, though, but I do not want him to get into trouble because of me. Even though I looked sophisticated dressed as Zelda Fitzgerald, I wasn’t as spirited. I left Bernie’s Ball early so I could continue reading the Fashion Mafia Commandments.

The Fourth Commandment states: You shall not make for yourself an outfit, whether in the form of anything that is in the most cutting-edge technical materials, or that is made from earth. Designing shall be left to those who do it best.

I obviously have no problem with that; I always wear only the best designers. This Fashion Mafia does not sound bad at all.