‘Tis the season. The season of good cheer, lovely gifts, fabulous party gowns, and holiday parties. Oh, those holiday parties. Some are fun, some are work. The work I speak of are the office parties to which one must attend. They are those social obligations where the most dreadful etiquette offenses and fashion crimes occur.

The lecherous older boss? Check.

The mature woman in accounting who pulls out her one party dress two years too small and five years out of style? Check.

The adorable mail boy who makes you want to forget professional boundaries? Check. He’s wearing his one and only dress suit, which makes him irresistible? Double-check.

Do not give in to the pitfalls of the holiday work party, Dear Readers. I am here to give you the guide on sophisticated soirée savvy.

Lucinda’s List: Emanating Elegance at Workplace Parties

1. The Open Bar is Closed – Do not be tempted by free alcohol. If you must partake, limit it to one glass of wine, and as much as we adore champagne, it simply must be avoided at work parties.
2. Shop Assistant – Take your brother shopping. Oh, it is not for him, but for you. Any gown that he deems appropriate for a work party should deflect grabby hands away from you and over to Marion in Accounting.
3. Date Fate – Pre-screen any escort you plan on introducing to your colleagues. If he is too loud, his obnoxiousness reflects poorly on you. If he is too quiet, you look like a dud as well. Test-run your date on a dinner with friends.
4. Plan a Getaway – One must never stay too long at the holiday work party. After midnight, everyone turns into a pumpkin. Trust me, you do not want to see your colleagues take over the band’s microphone and you do not want to see Marion making out with the mail boy. Make sure you have another social engagement to attend after the workplace fête.
5. Hit or Miss – Do not become a hit woman by cornering the mail cutie. Exercise restraint. You bring a date to distract you from committing a workplace crime.
6. Mistletoe Madness – Upon entering the party, scan the room for possible mistletoe mishaps. Never get caught beneath it, especially if you work in an office with undesirable men.
7. Conversation Sensation – Treat the holiday office party as an opportunity to get to know colleagues as people. It would not do harm to dazzle them with your knowledge of current events and interested in topics not talked about at work. Use the week before the event to read newspapers and watch the news.
8. The Buddy System – Sure, you want to get to know your workmates, but you would never really want to be their friends. Yes, dazzle them with conversation and be endearing, but do not encourage further social interaction. Keep it professional.
9. Never Let Them See You Eat – People always look terrible when eating, especially when they get food stuck between their teeth. Eating also ends up in bad breath disasters. If you must eat in view of your co-workers, restrain yourself to nibbling.
10. Goodness Gracious – Before you leave the party, thank your supervisor and the social committee for their hard work on planning a wonderful party, even if it was not so wonderful. You may even want to follow-up with thank-you cards the next week.