Dearest Lucinda:
Yesterday, we expected to see feature article on _______________  _______________ [Editor's note: yes, this is the same nameless designer who made the risky business transaction last week. No matter how hard you try to get it out of us, we cannot reveal her identity. It is a matter of life and death.]. Did we see it? No.

Our clients pay top dollar for the best service. When we send a request, we expect it to be executed promptly. Due to your negligence, you must now write one feature and appear on Steven and Chris to discuss her sophisticated bridal wear. Your appearance is scheduled for tomorrow. Models and dresses are arranged.

Consider this your fist and final warning on prompt execution. You do not want to know the consequences of inaction. Rather, your beloved Lady Miss Angora does not want to know the consequences of your inaction.

Oh my goodness! How could the Fashion Mafia threaten sweet little Lady Miss Angora. Sure, they control the world’s chinchilla production, but they would not harm my adorable pet bunny rabbit, would they?

There is no reason for a threat anyway. I adore Steven and Chris; their entire show educates housewives on how to bring elegance and class into their homes. I am always happy to visit their show.