All right.

I’ve got to get out of vacation mode and into work mode. I have to do a million things:

• Check on my collection at the contractor (I hope it’s going okay. I’m kinda nervous).
• Get Spring/Summmer to Mariette at Bye!
• Ship collection to Sully in New York.
• Complete Fall/Winter 09 samples.
• Organize a lookbook shoot and layout.
• Think about where I want to sell Fall/Winter.
• Hook up with Vivian to talk PR.
• Answer all my e-mail from the last two weeks (ugh! There’s so much).
• Clean my studio. There’s so much scrap fabric around, I can’t find my sketches.
• Submit entries to Spring shows. Or maybe I’ll just double-up with Sandee again. That way she can do all the entries.

Oh, hey…I just noticed that all the Gossip Girl episodes are online at  CTV. How cool is that? Maybe work can wait while I catch up on my New York fashion.

Oh wow! Cancun was so much fun. I did nothing but lay around the beach all day and get regenerated and inspired for my next collection.

And speaking of my next collection, I’ve got to send samples to that Sully guy I met on the beach. I can’t believe he has a store in New York and he wants to sell my clothes! What amazing luck!

Despite the first class travel, my mission was grueling and tiresome, but rewarding. I expect the Fashion Mafia to be pleased with my work at the North Pole.

Upon my return, I discovered many an e-mail in my Inbox. It seems my readers missed my year-in-review lists. Oh, how nice it is to be adored.

Not only do my readers adore me, but it appears Basher does too. He left me quite a few messages while I was away. We have not spoken in ages, but he is coming to Toronto for a game, so he wants to get together for dinner.

Thank you for your forgiveness, Dear Readers. I was pulled away before I could offer you my traditional lists decreeing the least sophisticated trends of the year past and the most sophisticated trends to anticipate in the year new.

Without further delay, here are the disappointments from 2008. Please return to this space next week to discover what I look forward to in 2009.

Lucinda’s List: 2008 Trends to Trash

1. Jumpsuits – They are coming out in 2009 and we are over them already.
2. Proliferation of Unfortunate Footwear – Those items called Uggs and Crocs are the vampires of the design world. They refuse to die. Normally I do not condone violence, but these shoes should be euthanized, especially since they co-mutated into “Cruggs” this year. That design crime never should have occurred.
3. Fakery – From plastic surgery to press-on nails, 2008 turned glamour on its head and transformed popular opinion of glam into gross. While I do condone Photoshop for tragic photos, I do not accept it when used to transform beautiful stars into appalling aliens. To be sophisticated is to be real (though you are permitted makeup and Spanx to enhance the real you).
4. Remakes – Are we so devoid of original ideas, we must re-do them poorly? Hollywood re-made the classic film, “The Women”, but without the charm or sophistication of the original. I blame the fakery trend for the absence of thought and creativity in 2008.
5. Fast Fashion – True fashionistas would never eat at McDonald’s, so why would they shop anywhere but the true fashion houses? The terrible construction and plagiarism of too-trendy stores is responsible for a shoddy-looking population.
6. Un-Reality Television – There are so many “reality” shows that in no way reflect reality. Nobody I know would ever subject herself to continuous cameras by living in a mansion with strangers to make a husband from a washed-up popular culture figure. The Hills is a scripted bore, but there may be hope with its offshoot, The City, as it heralds the return of the socialite. I can do without Whitney Port, but Olivia Palermo and her ilk deserve more attention.
7. Comfort Food – Apparently potato consumption is up. That means derrières will be down. Nothing is worse for the figure than this thing called comfort food. The only thing that should be comfortable is air travel.
8. Twitter – I do not know what this is, but social networking is unsophisticated. A social network is built on generations of face-to-face family connections. Online friends are neither real nor elegant.
9. Self-Service – Service has always been sophisticated, but has declined for quite some time. In 2008, the arrival of self-service at the supermarket illustrates the lingering death of good service. In the 1940’s and 50-‘s, there were all-service grocery stores and gas bars, where well-uniformed employees pampered customers, retrieving their requests from the shelves. Now we are forced to look after ourselves. This is a trend that has gone on fifty years too long.
10. Recession Obsession – All this talk of recession is boring. It should simply be ignored.

Tonight I got to wear my friend Daniela Jaramillo’s absolutely fabulous dress to the most amazing party of the year. Smirnoff took over the entire Windsor Arms Hotel. There were so many people, it was unbelievably cool.

I ran into Vivian, who took me into this secret VIP room, where we drank way, way, way too much vodka and ended up dancing on tables. We had such a blast and so much in common. She’s so cool, I can’t believe I didn’t like her. She rocks! She dragged every journalist over to meet me and we had a million pics taken of us. She’s totally going to make me a star!

To make things even better, when I was somewhere between my fifth and tenth vodka drink of the night, my parents phoned with the BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER! They’re taking the family on an all-inclusive vacation to Cancun for two whole weeks! Rock and roll! I’m there! Woo!

Tracee Smithers informed me the Fashion Mafia bosses are not happy with my work. They do not want me wearing Canadian designers any longer, nor do they want me reporting on them. I must wear Fashion Mafia-approved labels. To top it off, I have been assigned with a top-secret task. It will take me to the North Pole over the next two weeks. It is so dangerous and has such important global fashion repercussions, I can barely even think of it, let alone speak of it to anyone.

Wow! So this twitter thing is really neat. Vivian saw my tweets (hee-hee! That’s so cute! I LOVE it!) and said that she really could help me with press coverage, so I invited her over to see what I’ve been working on all week (when I wasn’t reading magazines. Ha ha!).

She came over and seemed genuinely impressed with my clothes, so she told me that she’d write a proposal and all. So cool. I still don’t know if I should trust her, but I think it would be so much easier to have her do all this stuff. I’d rather just design.

I called Sandee to see what she thought, since I figured Vivian gave her the same offer, but ooopsies! I guess she didn’t. I kinda felt bad because I think Vivian would love Sandee’s clothes too, but Sandee was okay. She seemed happy for me and thought it would be a great opportunity to have Vivian represent me. Sandee doesn’t think Vivian’s so bad.

Toronto’s leading Pet Psychiatrist, Dr. Frumenta, agreed to see Lady Miss Angora since she has nearly nibbled one entire side of her custom-designed Gucci bunny bag. I let the two talk for some time, then the good doctor allowed me in for a joint session, where I discussed my feelings of disappointment with my sweet little bunny rabbit. I told her I lost respect for her due to the destruction of such a fabulous luxury item.

Lady Miss Angora held her head down, but then jumped out of my lap and into the office corner. Dr. Frumenta concluded that I am the owner of a depressed bunny in need of attention and suggested an array of new holiday outfits, along with attendance at holiday parties.

When we left the office, we immediately stopped at Lady Miss Angora’s spa and picked up some lovely festive capes and we planned our holiday parties. When we arrived home, she did snuggle up to the zebra-print cape and fell asleep. I think she felt better, but I am not quite sure.

Today, Lady Miss Angora and I went to visit Trove’s new High Park location. We heard they were selling the shoes Angelina Jolie wore in The Changeling, so we simply had to investigate. I adored Ms. Jolie’s style in that film, and thought that I should have the shoes.

We met with charming Trove co-owner, Carolyn Eby, who showed us around and explained the store’s growth.

Trove has been around for six and a half years, continuously evolving and expanding its original store on Bathurst to include some of the most original designs found in Toronto. The new location brings more space, including luxurious lounging pouffes in the back, perfect for trying on shoes or for girlfriends to admire your clothing choices, and it also brings more design, which leans toward eco-friendly and Canadian creativity.

Local designer Aimée Kennedy, the brains behind beautiful line, fine & good jewelry, stopped in at the perfect time. She told us all about her different collections, which all hint at her sculpture and graphic design background. I particularly adored her Fused Links and Hammered metal pieces.

After our talk, I tried on a wonderful tunic by Canadian company, genX, and paired it with Re-Mix Vintage shoes.  Re-Mix makes almost-vintage reproduction shoes from the 1940’s to the 1960’s, restyled for today’s demanding feet. I am a new fan of these Re-Mix shoes and an even bigger fan of Trove.

So I spent all day calling my new favourite magazines and a bunch of other ones, trying to get them interested in my clothes, but nobody wanted to see me. They all say they’re too busy and I was way, way, way too late for Fall/Winter coverage. They all talked to me like I was dumb and practically hung up on me. Bummer. I didn’t think it would be hard to get an appointment. It’s kind of like trying to meet a buyer.